+*+*~The Bonding~*+*+

Its really fun and blessed to have a baby, a new comer, a new face in the family. I admit it. At the moment I saw my baby's face for the first time after I delivered him I almost drop into tears. To see his decent face is really a relieve for me.

Tapi, selepas beberapa hari yang perlu saya harungi, termasuk siri tak dapat tido malam sebab dia bangun nak menyusu and also sudah pandai cari akal nak ajak main2, kadang2 buat saya rasa fed up. Yes, call me selfish or bodo punya emak, I don't care. The main thing is The Bonding between me and the baby.

Seriously, masa saya pregnantkan Aimar saya tak pernah mewujudkan bonding itu. Saya tahu ada makhluk kecil di dalam perut saya yang setiap hari menggeletek dan berakrobat di dalam perut saya tapi saya tidak pernah mewujudkan bonding itu. Maksud saya, saya tidak pernah mengadakan sesi dialog dengan makhluk kecil di dalam perut atau cakap2 sambil panggil nama atau apa saja. Bagi saya aktiviti seperti itu adalah bullshit dan buang masa.

But when the time comes, saya rasa macam...kenapalah my son ni susah sangat nak dengar cakap saya? Kadang2 saya rasa macam takde connection dengan dia. Kadang2 saya rasa dia macam orang asing. That's why bila dia bangun malam nak menyusu saya akan marah2 and minta dia tido and tidak menganggu tido saya. How I wish all that to happen, tapi dia hanyalah seorang baby dan dia tetap akan kekal dengan tindak balas refleksinya. The problem is me, I have to create the bonding.

However, alhamdulillah, after 16 days with me slowly I can feel the bonding became tighter and tighter. I know he is my son and what ever it is he will choose me to comfort him. That's why masa dia demam and saya letak dia tido dalam dia punya cot dia asyik meragam saja. Tapi bila dia dah ok and started to sleep with me again dia tak meragam banyak sangat pada waktu malam. I have to work hard to make the bonding even tighter. He is my son. He came out from my womb. I had carried him for last 9 months. He is the proof of the meaning of true love between my husband and I.

Adakah simptom ini normal for first time mommies? Ada confinement-blues kah?

By the way, tomorrow my husband will be back from Korea so our small family will unite back. Yeayy...can't wait to see my daddy boo again.

And specially for my husband...Happy Father's Day, sayang. U're so lucky sebab sempat sambut father's day dengan anak di sisi. Hope that you will be the best father for our little bundle of joy.